Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
