you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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