When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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