tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize