I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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