i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
