Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize