she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
