things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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