You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
