Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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