my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
