The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
