i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I see more hoeing in ur future
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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