Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
