I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm gonna have a badass scar
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
