I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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