Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
