I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
