i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
