Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
