addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
