his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
