Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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