I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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