Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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