In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
