I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
