Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
