That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
