ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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