Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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