No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
