"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
