The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
