I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Houston, we have a squirter
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
