I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
