her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Life is so much better after having sex.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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