You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
