I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think my moral compass just broke
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
