I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
