I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
