Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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