Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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