I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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