I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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