if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
