Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
