btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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