Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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