Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I died a long time ago.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize