I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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