Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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