i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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