Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
