great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is Oprah even human
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
