just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
