Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize