I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
