did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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