Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
