I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
