Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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