I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
