i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
